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avatar RybekMini 18 day.ago

so the plane i own is into other planes, manly and girly planes

i considered him a bi-plane

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funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. Farting is like that Frozen song.

When you’re at work: “Conceal don't feel. Don't let them know.” When you’re at home: “Let it go. Let it go. Can’t hold it back anymore.”

2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring.

The doctor says I'm okay, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.

3. A cold-caller

 from a double glazing company phoned a man’s home one evening. “Hello, sir, this is Superseal Double Glazing,” he began. “I was just wondering if you might be interested in—” “Hold it right there,” said the homeowner. “Before you start your sales pitch, can I ask you a question?” “Uh, okay.” “What has a one-inch dick and hangs down?” “I don’t know,” said the salesman. “A bat. And what has a seven-inch dick and hangs up?” Then he put the phone down before the salesman could answer

4. What place do people frequently go to despite it charging a lot of money for gas?

Chipotle!

5. What do you call a live-in nanny with breast implants?

A faux-pair.

6. A Miracle

What’s Jesus’s greatest miracle? Being over 30 and having 12 close friends.

7. Which department in a hospital is the prettiest?

Acute department 🏥🚑

8. What word is not cute even though there is "cute" in it?

Execute!

9. Seems like a fitting time to announce that I am a Catholic

I just really loves cats

10. Did you hear about the kid who started a business tying shoelaces on the playground?

It was a knot-for-profit.

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